A recent study found that New Year’s resolutions die, on average, by January 19.

The reason? Many resolutions are the result of desire, not devotion.

A desire can feel strong, but it’s typically shallow and fleeting. Devotion to a why goes deeper, and without a compelling why, you are not likely to stay consistent.

Why do I say most New Year’s resolutions are the result of desire, not devotion? Because New Year’s resolutions start on New Year’s Day. Think about that. You waited until January 1.

You had a moment last year where you thought, “I should lose ten pounds” or “I want to quit smoking” or “I want to start saving money.”

So you decided you would do it ... on January 1. The day you felt that desire might have been September 29 or November 4, but you put off acting on it until January 1.

Why did you wait? Because you didn’t have a strong enough why. If you had a real why, you wouldn’t have thought, “On January 1, I am going to start eating healthy, but until then I am going to eat anything and everything!”

No, you’d have a strong devotion, and it would compel you to make a decision and be consistent now.

If you want to become more consistent, define your reason. Go deep. Pray. Look within. Tap in to your passion. 

Now, also remember, that there’s a big difference between being consistent and being perfect. You are going to fail.  Everyone fails. That means you won’t be perfect. But your goal is not perfection. Your goal is consistency. So don't make it about the win, make it about the way.  Keep at it and be consistent!

I encourage you to go back and listen to Episode 66  on Clarity. It is from our You Can Make It So Podcast series. It will help you identify your devotion, commit to the consistency and help you succeed.  

At Phoenix Life Coaching Canada we work with individuals and teams helping them lead with confidence and grow in clarity. Find out more about how we can help you personally and professionally - reach out today

Remember - Great Leaders Don't Grow Alone

#Makeitso

One thing that we know, atleast history since Biblical times has shown us this, is that where two people are present, sooner or later, conflict or tension will arise.

I’ve come across a lot of leaders who think that every interaction that isn’t perfectly kumbaya is conflict. And the moment they sense conflict, they begin to think of how they’re going to address it, stamp it out, eliminate it from the culture.

They plan meetings, write emails, spend hours obsessing over how to deal with it, and then, if they’re like many leaders, they sit around and do nothing.

Because they don’t want to create even more conflict.

Leaders often feel that way because conflict is an either/or situation. It’s two people who simply cannot agree on something, or a circumstance with only two viable outcomes.

Conflict is challenging because it requires choice—making a judgment regarding the situation—that will upset someone.

In my experience, conflict is actually rare.

True conflicts are those times when every possibility has been exhausted, every pathway explored, and at the end of the day it’s one or the other. And candidly, those are the situations at the core of leadership.

So, if true conflict is rare, what are so many leaders struggling with?

Why do so many people cry out for help?

It’s simple: what many leaders mistake for conflict is actually tension. And tension is nothing to be afraid of.

Tension is different than conflict because it’s a sliding scale—there are many possibilities along that scale, and it’s a leader’s job to learn to navigate among them. There are plenty of differing opinions, and often there’s even strong disagreement, but doors remain open and people continue to work together.

Good leaders embrace tension.

Great leaders harness it.

Tension can be utilized to spur creativity, to encourage outside-of-the-box thinking and actions and stir a good team into action.

Tension is a natural occurrence that is neither good nor bad—until a leader’s response to that tension pushes it in one direction or the other.

Sometimes, we as leaders need to step back and ask ourselves, “Is this conflict or is it tension?

This is what we have been, on our Podcast, and in my One to One Executive Coaching, tackling:

Episode 145 - Tension or Conflict - Every leader must observe and decide - is it Tension or is it Conflict? Find out one simple way to figure it out and how to handle either in your team. Listen to this episode

Episode 146 - Conflict: Now What? - You know it's conflict - now what? Find out the three R's that will get you through it. Take a listen to this episode.

Episode 147 - Asking Why - “Why” can be the most important question you ask when it comes to overcoming tension and conflict. Take a listen  

Episode 148 - Now What? - Sometimes you get called into a role as a leader - and you wonder - now what?  Well, take a listen to this episode.

Tension is a part of our every day lives. From small experiences during traffic, to medium size moments at home, to larger events in the office. How we deal with them, and how we define them is crucial to allow them not to control us, and it helps to avoid conflict, which does not need to be part of our every day lives. 

I encourage you this week to take a quick read of this great article: “Stepping into a Leadership Role? Be Ready to Tell Your Story.”. I think you will find it very helpful. We often don’t feel ready for dealing with tension or conflict (and yet we often are), so this article helps us handle both in a healthy way.

At Phoenix Life Coaching Canada we work with individuals and teams helping them lead with confidence and grow in clarity. Find out more about how we can help you personally and professionally - reach out today

Remember - Great Leaders Don't Grow Alone

#Makeitso

This time of year is perfect for reflection and gratitude—but today, I want to talk about something that often holds us back: fear.

Not fear in the traditional sense, but the kind of fear that keeps us from investing in ourselves. Let’s break it down:

Maybe your finances feel tight, and the idea of spending money on a gym membership, cleaner food, or even a self-help book feels impossible. But is it really about the money? Or is it a scarcity mindset whispering, What if I fail? What if it doesn’t work? Fear convinces us that staying stuck is safer than stepping into the unknown, even when that step could change everything.

Let’s look at this another way: If you’re feeling overwhelmed, aimless, or even stuck in a rut, fear might be telling you that taking action is too risky. Whether it’s investing in a coach, committing to healthier habits, or making time for personal development, the opponent in your mind will create excuses to keep you from trying. Why? Because your mind is designed to protect you—even if it’s protecting you from growth.

Here’s the truth: Anything worthwhile will feel uncomfortable at first. Growth feels unsafe because it’s new. But awareness is power. When you recognize fear for what it is—a signal to challenge yourself—you can choose action over inaction. You can invest in the things that bring you closer to your best self, instead of letting fear hold you back.

As we close out the year, I challenge you to reflect on this: Where is fear keeping you from stepping into your potential? And how can you reframe those "expenses" as investments in the life you truly want to build?

At Phoenix Life Coaching Canada we work with individuals and teams helping them lead with confidence and grow in clarity. Find out more about how we can help you personally and professionally - reach out today

Remember - Great Leaders Don't Grow Alone

#Makeitso

When Ted Lasso was hired as the new gaffer (coach) for AFC Richmond, the team, the town, and the entire country made it no secret that they thought he was just a clueless “wanker.” But it was clear, even early on, that Ted knew a thing or two about being a good leader. It's not about the wins and losses but about helping others become the best versions of themselves.

As times moves on for us, as challenges arise, as tough conversations surface, and maybe even occassionally chaos is on the horizon, there are moments when we might feel we too are a bit "clueless".  This is why it is so important that we have a handle on ensuring we know how to "get into the zone", and by that, I mean steady progress toward habits that lead to success in goals.

This month on our Podcast, and in my One to One Executive Coaching, we tackled a few important topics:

Episode 144 - Tough Choices - Every Leader must make tough choices. Handling them, successfully or not, comes down to 3 C's - find out what they are in this episode.

Episode 143 - Leadership Identity - What comes into your mind, comes out in your leadership. So what is your identity as a leader? That is what we discover in this episode

Episode 142 - Keep Me At It - Less than 80 days left in 2024! Determination is a key factor toward success, however, first, you need to know what you are chasing. Let's discover more in this episode

Episode 141 - “Burn the Boats” - Success takes making it through zones, and choosing to "Burn the Boats" along the way - find out more in this episode

Episode 140 - Strength Zone - We all have a "strength zone" and when we work from our strengths, it is then that we make strides toward success. Learn more in this episode. 

All of these lead us to a deep understanding that we must continue to work at progress - which often comes not in strides but in steps.

Few things to keep in mind as you take these steps.

First, Obstacles Can Be Opportunities. Don't look at every "set back" as a "step back". Many of my best life lessons have come after a challenge. Press onward through tough times, make the hard choices and even consider at times "burning the boats" along the way.

Second, Know Your Purpose. It is always (as I say often) "Who", before "Do". It is better to take time to figure out what an action says about your character, than to jump into a pit and need a rescue. Sounds simple, but read the newspaper, it's not common.

Third, Empowerment Breeds Confidence. It is far better to say "I don't know but, I want to learn", than to say "I don't care and I will get it done". Determination to learn, grow and chase your best self, is a success formula if there ever was one.

Finally, Pay Attention to the Details. Be it specific things about people, being meticulous in designing things or just in day to day things you do to track your calendar and your tasks.  Details matter, and often lead to more resounding success, not just a moment of accomplishment.

At Phoenix Life Coaching Canada we work with individuals and teams helping them lead with confidence and grow in clarity. Find out more about how we can help you personally and professionally - reach out today

Remember - Great Leaders Don't Grow Alone

#Makeitso

Thanksgiving is a habit of the soul

That phrase has always struck me. To be thankful or grateful is not just a concept, or a moment, it is a deep seeded sense.

When this traditional time of "thanksgiving" come around, I am always profoundly reminded of the blessings, in the midst of challenges, which we all enjoy. Thanksgiving is to be in reality - a habit - that penetrates the core of who we are and what we are about……

It is rooted not in our circumstances, because those can change overnight.

It is rooted not in a poll or a popularity, because those rise and fall with impulse.

It is rooted not in something successfully done or a satisfaction with how something was or was not handled in the past or today, but in the heart felt, soul rooted, life lived, belief that all things work together for Good.

We are not the sum…. We are not about circumstances – we are about Faithfulness. 

We are not the sum…. Of what goes right or wrong, we are about pointing to progress (small and large).

We are not the sum …… of a dream met, a goal achieved, or a failure lived – we are about modelling achievements.

We are not the sum……of what we are thankful for or what we complain about – we are about sharing what we have.

May this Thanksgiving Weekend be a time of  embracing Thanksgiving as a Habit of the Soul.

May it remind us that even in the midst of the challenges, which are real for us all, we do in fact have much to be Thankful for.

Always know I am here for you to help! I am cheering you on! - #letsgetafterit #makeitso

When September hit, we entered into the Final Four Month of 2024. These final four months of 2024 – can be amazing times of growth. They are a final push toward the goals of the year and the success we desire. It is like when a team looks at the clock and realizes its ticking toward the final moments before finishing of a game – a new energy emerges – or so we hope.

However, before diving into new goals, take a moment to reflect on what you've already accomplished this year. It’s so fun to give yourself credit for things; I’m a huge fan. It's easy to focus on what's left to do and forget how much you've already done. List your achievements, no matter how small they may seem. This practice not only boosts your morale but also helps you identify strategies that worked well for you, which you can replicate in the coming months.

Then its time for Questions. Why questions? Questions are powerful. They represent potential insight. And the better questions you ask, the better (more helpful, more strategic, more effective) answers you get.

As you pursue personal development, ask yourself those powerful questions: Give them the time they need to inspire reflection. Embrace asking great questions as a lifestyle and you will be more successful as a leader.

Am I staying in my strength zone? 

Am I taking care of today? 

Am I investing my time with the right people? 

Am I taking time to think? 

Am I investing in myself? 

These questions lead us toward identifying hinderances, overcoming hurdles and energizing high points that will lead us toward greater success. Asking the questions, and honestly reflecting on the answers will increase your Focus, Multiply your Success and make the Final Four of 2024 can be some of the most productive months of the year

On our Podcast this month we focussed on these through the following episodes

Episode 139- Focus  - In all of the noise that this world (and our calendars) can make, we face this hard truth about achieving our goals: We can't achieve success if we can't focus. Let's learn more in this episode -

Episode 138 - Multiply Success - Leadership is not about being "in charge", it is about taking care of those who are in your charge and multiplying success. Find out how with the 3 A's here

Episode 137 - Questions are Powerful. They represent potential insight. The better the question you ask, the better (more helpful, more strategic, more effective) the answer you get. Let's explore on this episode.  

Episode 136 - The Final Four - The end of Summer does not need to be a bad thing. The Final Four of 2024 can be some of the most productive months of the year. Let's look at how in this episode.

At Phoenix Life Coaching Canada we work with individuals and teams helping them lead with confidence and grow in clarity. Find out more about how we can help you personally and professionally - reach out today

Remember - Great Leaders Don't Grow Alone

#Makeitso

Lee Iacocca, the legendary Chairman of Chrysler Motors once said, “I hire smart people and get out of their way.”   I agree, and have seen it time and time again in my life as a people leader. It’s the notion that if you hire amazing people, and just get out of their way, they’ll do amazing things. But that does not mean that your job as a leader is done! In fact, it is just beginning.

Listening. Empathy. Consideration. Did I mention listening? Creativity. Oh, and listening. These things were critical. Leadership is the art of creating greatness in other people. Your job as a leader is to notice it and then help create the space for them to shine. Here I believe you can do that by simply remembering the letter "C".

Learn to Coach

To be clear, coaching isn’t the same as “here’s how I would have done it.” A lot of times what I hear others do isn’t coaching. They’re second-guessing. Or they’re highlighting why they wouldn’t have done it how someone else did it.

One of the aspects of coaching that I love the most is when I get to help someone think better. But that means I have to help them ask different questions to help them think about and see the situation in front of them differently. As you get better and better at teaching people to ask the right questions, you’ll see marked and serious growth from your team. A great way to learn to Coach is to have one of your own! If I can help and take my experience of almost three decades as a people leader and help you seek Clarity and Confidence in discerning direction and handling leadership circumstances in your personal or professional life – don’t hesitate to contact me

Learn to Celebrate

Now, to be honest, not everyone will love celebrations. I worked with a couple people who don’t celebrate much because they’re thrilled by the next challenge. So the moment one hill has been climbed, they’re off to the next one.

But some people, in order for them to shine, need the celebration that comes from a kind word, a pat on the back, and some external recognition. And the more you get in the habit of celebrating, the better you’ll connect with the kinds of folks that thrive off it.

Learn to Challenge

Pushing people to go further than they thought they could is something you see everyday in the gym. But we don’t always see it in a work environment. We get nervous. We don’t want to be pushy or look like we’re being mean.

But pushing someone to do more, go further, to level up, or to step their game up is positive, not negative. Can we all agree that it’s easier to stay comfortable? So our job as leaders is to let people enjoy that spot, but not for too long. Eventually you have to promote them or give them an assignment outside of their comfort zone and push them to step up to the next level for their own personal and career growth.

This month on our Podcast, and in my One to One Executive Coaching, I have been focussing on looking at the question of Leadership:

Episode 135 - Get Uncomfortable - So often it is our desire to "stay comfortable", which hampers our growth as a leader. Let's look at three strategies to overcome this, while staying true to our values. Check out this episode

Episode 134 - Partnership - "To build a leader you have to make them a partner." It was a statement told to me years ago. It shocked me, but it has continued to ring true over the decades. Let me share with you why in this episode

Episode 133 - Trust - One of the best investments you can make as a leader is to create a culture of empowerment, not control. That takes trust. Let's look at the five key elements that allow that to happen Check it out here

Episode 132 - Letting Go - As your business or organization grows, a good leader must know when to "lean in" and when to "let go". Let's look at three consequences of not letting go as a leader.  Check it out here

At Phoenix Life Coaching Canada we work with individuals and teams helping them lead with confidence and grow in clarity. Find out more about how we can help you personally and professionally - reach out today

Remember - Great Leaders Don't Grow Alone

#Makeitso

Leadership is a choice. It is not a rank. 

I know many people at the senior most levels of organizations who are absolutely not leaders.  They are authorities, and we do what they say because they have authority over us, but we would not follow them. 

And I know many people who are at the bottoms of organizations who have no authority and they are absolutely leaders. This is because they have chosen to look after the person to the left of them, and they have chosen to look after the person to the right of them. 

One of the best definitions of leaderships was shared with me early in my professional career – and it may well have come from a book – but it was instead shared in an elevator ride to a very tough meeting. The man I was working for simply said – “this is one of those moments you have to look ugly in the mirror and make it better.”

One of the biggest stumbling blocks for organizations is an unwillingness to be brutally honest about the difficulties they face. And it’s impossible to drive change, and lead others, if people aren’t aligned on why both are needed. You can have a group of supersmart people, but they can waste a lot of energy going down the wrong track, it is for this reason that the leader sets the tone. 

It is important to be clear about what you stand for as a leader. In my One to One Executive Coaching, I often ask those I coach several questions to help them develop what I call their Personal Leadership Brand or "Rally Cry". Here are the three questions:

What three values are most important to you as a leader and a colleague?

How have you lived them in your career?

Why are they important for driving success?

When a leader honestly asks and answers those questions, they make the choice to put the people inside the organization first, to sacrifice their comforts and sacrifice the tangible results, so that the people remain and feel like they belong. It is then that remarkable things happen. This takes a commitment to self awareness as a leader.

To do this, it is important for a leader to identify your triggers: the moments of stress that can spark an overreaction. Everyone has some emotional scar tissue, and certain circumstances remind us of the experiences that caused it, sometimes leading to reactions we later regret. Facing your triggers honestly is the first step toward creating some emotional distance from them and controlling your reactions.

Secondly, make sure also to uncover your blind spots. Be sure to close any gaps between how you think you’re leading and how your team perceives you. Be relentless about asking for input:  Questions like .... “What do you need me to do more of, less of, or differently to better help you?” Show appreciation when people respond and let them know how they informed your thinking or prompted a behavioral change.

This self awareness also can demonstrate itself by not being afraid to ask for mentoring, coaching or encouragement. It is not concidence that isolation is often found "at the top". Make sure you have a network that will aide with your being able to keep your perspective and stay focused on what matters most. An amazing book that I recommend everyone reads is Measure What Matters by John Doerr. I will speak about it more next month, but check it out!

This month on our Podcast, and in my One to One Executive Coaching, I have been focussing on looking at the question of Leadership:

Episode 131- Be a Fan - The leader that sets the tone. In order to be a good leader, you also have to be a good fan. Find out more

Episode 130 - Leap into Leadership - This requires you to resist the temptation to be a cheerleader for the status quo. Here are some things to keep in mind.  

Episode 129 - Are you a Manager or a Leader? Your answer reflects your approach and style. Not sure - start by listening to this episode & find out more

Episode 128 - Change? The summer months are a great time to "check it out", but that is not only a "tourist phrase", it is also applies to our personal and professional growth. Why not start by listening to this episode and find out more?

Episode 127 - Are You the Boss ? Fear & Afraid are two different things. One happens, the other we choose. That choice can lead to intimidation or procrastination of your goals. Find out how being "the boss" helps ensure neither impacts your success - check it out here

If I can help and take my experience of almost three decades as a people leader and help you seek Clarity and Confidence in discerning direction and handling leadership circumstances in your personal or professional life – don’t hesitate to contact me

At Phoenix Life Coaching Canada we work with individuals and teams helping them lead with confidence and grow in clarity. Find out more about how we can help you personally and professionally - reach out today

Remember - Great Leaders Don't Grow Alone

#Makeitso

 

For several decades I worked in an organization whose most painful time for all of us was –“Budget time”. So often the discussion would be about not approving an expense, not investing in a new initiative. The reason was simple – Fear!

It can happen in so many organizations and businesses and its red flag #1 that someone may not be thinking big enough.

Truly wise people realize that cutting costs isn’t the only goal. Sure, they’re not lavish with money, but they’re also not gripped by fear or small thinking.

The way to tell the difference between broke thinking and wisdom is simple: A scarcity mindset is motivated by fear. And the default answer to spending money is “No.”

So as a leader, my goal was to set the Vision.

How? Well, first Remember That Vision Precedes Resources

Believe it or not, resources don’t magically appear overnight, but you do have a ground floor from which to build the future. And that starts by dreaming and casting vision together.

As much as leaders wish it were otherwise, vision precedes resources. Almost every successful start-up has a vision before it has people and resources.

So start with a vision.

Vision answers the questions:

What problem are we solving?

What does a better future look like?

What is it you feel called to accomplish?

Then, you’ll notice something: As the vision becomes clear and compelling, resources will start to come in.

If you wait for money to begin a new future, you’ll wait forever.

Second, Invest Meaningfully in Personal and Team Development

Early in my leadership, as we moved scarcity mindsets out of leadership and began building a new vision and team, we started investing in road trips, conferences, books, and coaching that helped us figure out how to build the organization we wanted. That helped pair a new vision with a fresh strategy. And it turned hopes and dreams into a plan. I also read as much as I could and connected with coaches and mentors.

You can do the same with your business. People sometimes can not envision, but they can see. So show them what you are talking about. Give them some "thing" to embrace and they will. 

Third, Know the difference between Expenses and Investments

Embracing an abundance mindset doesn’t mean you can spend anything you want any time you want. That’s how you go broke (for real).

I have always gone by the adage – in fact it is on the wall in my office - Invest wisely and generously. Handle expenses judiciously.

If it has a lasting "dividend" in people, culture, vision or governance, it is an investment.

If it is just reduces income then it is an expense.

I know that is simple - but it rings true!

Bottom line is this - Abundance vs. Scarcity

Abundance thinking focuses on what you can do.

A scarcity mindset focuses on what you can’t do.

Getting past broke thinking is a transformative moment. That’s the difference between having a future and not having much of one at all.

At Phoenix Life Coaching Canada we work with individuals and teams helping them lead with confidence and grow in clarity. Find out more about how we can help you personally and professionally - reach out today

Remember - Great Leaders Don't Grow Alone

#Makeitso