One thing that we know, atleast history since Biblical times has shown us this, is that where two people are present, sooner or later, conflict or tension will arise.

I’ve come across a lot of leaders who think that every interaction that isn’t perfectly kumbaya is conflict. And the moment they sense conflict, they begin to think of how they’re going to address it, stamp it out, eliminate it from the culture.

They plan meetings, write emails, spend hours obsessing over how to deal with it, and then, if they’re like many leaders, they sit around and do nothing.

Because they don’t want to create even more conflict.

Leaders often feel that way because conflict is an either/or situation. It’s two people who simply cannot agree on something, or a circumstance with only two viable outcomes.

Conflict is challenging because it requires choice—making a judgment regarding the situation—that will upset someone.

In my experience, conflict is actually rare.

True conflicts are those times when every possibility has been exhausted, every pathway explored, and at the end of the day it’s one or the other. And candidly, those are the situations at the core of leadership.

So, if true conflict is rare, what are so many leaders struggling with?

Why do so many people cry out for help?

It’s simple: what many leaders mistake for conflict is actually tension. And tension is nothing to be afraid of.

Tension is different than conflict because it’s a sliding scale—there are many possibilities along that scale, and it’s a leader’s job to learn to navigate among them. There are plenty of differing opinions, and often there’s even strong disagreement, but doors remain open and people continue to work together.

Good leaders embrace tension.

Great leaders harness it.

Tension can be utilized to spur creativity, to encourage outside-of-the-box thinking and actions and stir a good team into action.

Tension is a natural occurrence that is neither good nor bad—until a leader’s response to that tension pushes it in one direction or the other.

Sometimes, we as leaders need to step back and ask ourselves, “Is this conflict or is it tension?

This is what we have been, on our Podcast, and in my One to One Executive Coaching, tackling:

Episode 145 - Tension or Conflict - Every leader must observe and decide - is it Tension or is it Conflict? Find out one simple way to figure it out and how to handle either in your team. Listen to this episode

Episode 146 - Conflict: Now What? - You know it's conflict - now what? Find out the three R's that will get you through it. Take a listen to this episode.

Episode 147 - Asking Why - “Why” can be the most important question you ask when it comes to overcoming tension and conflict. Take a listen  

Episode 148 - Now What? - Sometimes you get called into a role as a leader - and you wonder - now what?  Well, take a listen to this episode.

Tension is a part of our every day lives. From small experiences during traffic, to medium size moments at home, to larger events in the office. How we deal with them, and how we define them is crucial to allow them not to control us, and it helps to avoid conflict, which does not need to be part of our every day lives. 

I encourage you this week to take a quick read of this great article: “Stepping into a Leadership Role? Be Ready to Tell Your Story.”. I think you will find it very helpful. We often don’t feel ready for dealing with tension or conflict (and yet we often are), so this article helps us handle both in a healthy way.

At Phoenix Life Coaching Canada we work with individuals and teams helping them lead with confidence and grow in clarity. Find out more about how we can help you personally and professionally - reach out today

Remember - Great Leaders Don't Grow Alone

#Makeitso

When Ted Lasso was hired as the new gaffer (coach) for AFC Richmond, the team, the town, and the entire country made it no secret that they thought he was just a clueless “wanker.” But it was clear, even early on, that Ted knew a thing or two about being a good leader. It's not about the wins and losses but about helping others become the best versions of themselves.

As times moves on for us, as challenges arise, as tough conversations surface, and maybe even occassionally chaos is on the horizon, there are moments when we might feel we too are a bit "clueless".  This is why it is so important that we have a handle on ensuring we know how to "get into the zone", and by that, I mean steady progress toward habits that lead to success in goals.

This month on our Podcast, and in my One to One Executive Coaching, we tackled a few important topics:

Episode 144 - Tough Choices - Every Leader must make tough choices. Handling them, successfully or not, comes down to 3 C's - find out what they are in this episode.

Episode 143 - Leadership Identity - What comes into your mind, comes out in your leadership. So what is your identity as a leader? That is what we discover in this episode

Episode 142 - Keep Me At It - Less than 80 days left in 2024! Determination is a key factor toward success, however, first, you need to know what you are chasing. Let's discover more in this episode

Episode 141 - “Burn the Boats” - Success takes making it through zones, and choosing to "Burn the Boats" along the way - find out more in this episode

Episode 140 - Strength Zone - We all have a "strength zone" and when we work from our strengths, it is then that we make strides toward success. Learn more in this episode. 

All of these lead us to a deep understanding that we must continue to work at progress - which often comes not in strides but in steps.

Few things to keep in mind as you take these steps.

First, Obstacles Can Be Opportunities. Don't look at every "set back" as a "step back". Many of my best life lessons have come after a challenge. Press onward through tough times, make the hard choices and even consider at times "burning the boats" along the way.

Second, Know Your Purpose. It is always (as I say often) "Who", before "Do". It is better to take time to figure out what an action says about your character, than to jump into a pit and need a rescue. Sounds simple, but read the newspaper, it's not common.

Third, Empowerment Breeds Confidence. It is far better to say "I don't know but, I want to learn", than to say "I don't care and I will get it done". Determination to learn, grow and chase your best self, is a success formula if there ever was one.

Finally, Pay Attention to the Details. Be it specific things about people, being meticulous in designing things or just in day to day things you do to track your calendar and your tasks.  Details matter, and often lead to more resounding success, not just a moment of accomplishment.

At Phoenix Life Coaching Canada we work with individuals and teams helping them lead with confidence and grow in clarity. Find out more about how we can help you personally and professionally - reach out today

Remember - Great Leaders Don't Grow Alone

#Makeitso

Several years ago, I had the opportunity to be taken out on a private plane for my very own flying lesson. It was an impactful moment that has led me to yearn earning my private pilot’s license. During the lesson, I learned a great deal about instrument rating (which enables you to legally fly in the clouds). When you’re flying with zero visibility, pilots call it flying in the soup. 

So often as leaders, we often feel like we’re flying in the soup of changing expectations, overwhelming calendars, cultural shifts, and untested technologies. It is like leading in the clouds. The results could be we are lost “in the clouds”….. so what do we do ? I would like to share three strategies for staying agile in leadership while we feel "in the clouds". 

First, learn to trust your instruments.

A client of mine, whom I have worked with for several years (so he has become a friend too), has certain “tells”, which say to me he is “in the clouds”. One of them is he begins seeking “new books”. When I hear him say “I found this new book advertised on Instagram”, I know he is heading for the clouds. Why? Because he is looking for something emotionally, instead of trusting his instruments directly before him.

So often in the midst of a challenge, we scramble. Our first reaction is “it’s not working”. Your emotions are likely lying to you. To overcome this, you need to make informed decisions as you lead with agility.

Learn to interpret and trust your instruments. Trust the lessons you have learned, the things you have seen, and the habits you have in place, don’t start implementing a new habit in the midst of the clouds based on an emotion. In your organization: monitor your culture, study the numbers, look realistically at what you’re seeing in front of you. No matter what you feel, or how many legitimate reasons you have to be afraid, you have to have faith in the decisions you make from the instruments you’re discerning. So whatever the most important metrics are, dive deep into them and get a firm understanding of the facts not the emotion.

Second, make small constant corrections not big thrusts

Every passenger expects a smooth flight. It is no different “at the front”. But along the flight there can be turbulence. While you might seek to avoid such, the flight is not better if there is a large thrust away from the destination or a huge drop in altitude.

You need to avoid overcorrection. Get in a flow of constantly making small adjustments to keep your organization heading in the right direction. The goal is to see problems early and solve them quickly.

Based on the data you’re seeing, you’ll need to be constantly making small adjustments to keep heading in the right direction at the right speed. If you feel like you’re making constant, nonstop, small corrections, you’re very likely leading well. If you aren’t, you might be drifting away from you more than you realize.

Third, enjoy the view, but don’t get comfortable

When I first went to “sit up front”, I thought it was amazing to have the perfect view of everything. But then when I “took the wheel”, I learned how much work was involved in “piloting”. It is much the same when we are a leader.

At first the “view” from the corner office is pretty good, and we feel great about “being our own boss”, but eventually the work of “piloting” squarely impacts us. The discipline and consistency become our focus, and not just the view.

If we fail at that discipline and consistency, and just enjoy the view, then we succumb to the “curse of confidence.” According to the Dunning-Kruger Effect, those who are highest in confidence are often the lowest in competence. The things you’re absolutely convinced of may be your biggest points of vulnerability.

Self-awareness is incredibly important if you want to anticipate incoming leadership challenges. Take an honest assessment of the current state of your own leadership. If you’re going to learn to be a leader who anticipates challenges, you have to accept that what you "know” may be wrong.

Discover if you're too confident about what you know with this test: Keep track of how many questions you're answering versus how many questions you're asking. The posture of an anticipatory leader is curious and humble. If you are doing more talking then listening, well – to be blunt – you are in the clouds!

Once you’ve identified your own leadership blind spots, you need to look at every aspect of your organization—every product line, team, and major initiative. Figure out what is and isn’t working, and make sure you know why.

People often ask how I consistently make disciplined decisions. The answer? I make as many decisions as possible ahead of time. By doing this, I save time and decision-making energy. If you wait until you are 100% sure before adjusting, you will always be too late. Set back is as much a part of success as a takeoff and landing is a part of a flight.

If you want to “get out of the clouds” - become a leader who anticipates challenges, you need to develop awareness (trust your instruments), discern future threats and opportunities (make small constant corrections not big thrusts), and disrupt what is for what could be (enjoy the view, but don’t get comfortable).

Leadership is influence—and you are a leader. That’s why it’s critical you keep sharpening your leadership. I’d love to help. At Phoenix Life Coaching Canada we work with individuals and teams helping them lead with confidence and grow in clarity. Find out more about how we can help you personally and professionally - reach out today - Do not hesitate to Contact me

Remember - Great Leaders Don't Grow Alone

#Makeitso